Tuesday, August 5, 2008

NeEd a BreAk..

I think i really need a break. It's not that I've work hard though haha..but I somehow feel that I need something different, even if it's just for a little while..i shouldn't be feeling any stress actually because I have a "dun care" attitude which I know too haha..but I don't know why I get emo and moody so easily. Seriously damn down..and I always don't know who to find when I'm really emo. Usually I will end up going to cc and DotA to release emo. It works sometimes, but sometimes it backfires by making me even more emo haha..

I really want to go to Pulau Redang, actually planned to go with my college mates but it was canceled due to "Hungry Ghost Festival" which will be starting on the 16th of August according to my friend. I really miss my previous trips to Redang and I would really like to replace the baby shark tooth necklace i bought from there. Mine broke off.

This holiday most probably I will be going back to my mom's hometown in Batu Gajah to visit my grandma. My uncle passed away recently..previously the 2 of them were staying together but now that my uncle is gone she will be staying alone. She called me when my uncle passed away but all she told me was that my uncle was admitted to hospital and NOT he passed away. After 11 days only I know the truth, when my sister sms'ed me last saturday to tell me that my uncle actually passed away. I feel kind of guilty because I was never really that close with any of my relatives and I haven't been visiting her during CNY holidays for the past few years coz I don't feel like going back. Now I'm really feeling bad and I pity her that she is now staying all alone and she's got health problem. I actually wanted to go Penang for my holidays but how can I continue with my plan after hearing my grandma's condition now lol.

Sometimes when we feel empathy for someone it will bring lots of thoughts to ourselves. Besides my uncle passing away, my paternal grandfather is having some complications too and might be leaving anytime. It was only then I know how it feels when someone "left" you. I cant stop myself from imagining how will I feel if any of my family left me. I've never given a thought on this before. But I am growing older day by day and so are they..even though I am not the family type girl but I think I can really feel the pain..

Argh..forget it. Concentrate on my studies and assignments better..Finals is starting next week! And i'm still blogging haha..hopefully after typing it out I will feel better. This few days emo till not sleeping well and this morning didnt sleep drive to college. When I was about to reach college I hit someone's car because i dozed off =.=" thankfully no serious damage to both cars. In fact only my car was damaged lol. 2nd accident in 3 months time >.<

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