duno wat title 2 put =D

2.31am now..still not sleeping yet coz no mood. it's raining now ^^ my favourite weather of all haha..i enjoy sitting somewhere where i can look up at the raining sky and stone there. i used 2 do it when i was younger lol..i find it kind of weird but duno y i can withstand being alone haha,in fact i kinda enjoy the feeling of being alone =D can enjoy the peace and quietness haha..and i can go into deep thoughts,stone =D are these the symptoms of an anti social? =x i used 2 be a game freak but now im losing interest towards it. izit bcoz i dun haf the rite company 2 game wif or..? i really like dota a lot,it brought me a lot of frens. it is something that i can use as a social utility lol. is that the reason im still playing it now? i duno either..last time i've always wanted 2 be a good girl gamer. i hope that ppl will stop saying that girls can never be a gamer. i hate it when ppl say that. 4 this, i really tried very hard last time..but i duno since when i got tired of trying that i juz gif up lol. eventually when i stop trying i will get worse and worse,so gaming nowadays really makes me damn emo. when i play o2jam,i will compare myself now 2 last time. i can easily combo or pass those songs last time but i cant do it anymore now. the same 2 dota..when i was active i think i am much better than now..whenever ppl say i play badly they make me think back of last time..if i still had the skills i had back then..will they still look down on me so much? i think that im quite lifeless actually lol..a person who puts gaming at the 1st place,how much life could this person haf? =) im making myself think so much for all these trivial matters lol..but somehow it is bothering me..i hate the feeling. but wat feeling is this? i really duno =.=" actually im really sick of dota now..the reason im hanging on to this game would be the frens i made through this game i belief..i know that if i quit gaming im gonna lose a lot of frens who game lol. stupid huh not quitting because of that ^^" im already 21 this year but i duno y my thoughts and actions are like so childish. i can seriously say that i dun feel that i am like 21 at all lol..the way i act and stuff..like a kid >.< sad sad..enuff of crap 4 2day..find this blogsite really useful haha! when unhappy or moody can straight away crap here XD