Tuesday, July 19, 2011

2 Months Worth of Rants

Had a really bad month, I thought June was bad..but July was even worse. Had a lot of disagreements and arguments with people around me, work is not going smoothly and I have problem sleeping properly due to my imba mood.

Seriously, it sux, despite my birthday being in the month of July as well, I didn't really have a great day on my birthday. I am really tired and stressed, especially at work. There's so many things going on around, and I have really thought of giving up for n thousand of times but it's thanks to a few of my friends who kept supporting me and told me to go on that's why I'm still surviving till now.

I have never really work more than 1 month for a permanent job before (excluding the Dubai one because for that I have no choice, I couldn't just come back to Malaysia and say I don't want to work anymore right?). For my current job, it's my 4th month there but somehow it felt like I've been working for at least a year. Time pass by really fast there, and things change really fast as well.

It's really difficult to adapt to the inconsistent changes, and the stress. To tell the truth, I have never really liked doing sales. This is something that I am aware of since I'm 15 years old and yet my job are still mostly sales based because:

1. Good Pay
2. When people look at my resume, they ignore my cert and only take my work experience into account and that's....sales...

It's really freaking sad you know, the reason I took mass comm instead of business is because I know I don't like business. I want something with free working time, not so routine kinda job, and also a job which doesn't care the process but only the result. My current job started off like what I wanted, but as time goes on, everything changes.

I can't control my emotions and it's affecting literally every aspect of my life. Because of some incidents that took place last time, I no longer trust people at work so end up I'm solo'ing in the office. When something happens and I really need someone to talk to, there's none because I don't trust people from my workplace.

I chose to keep everything to myself, but how much capacity do I have? Even a balloon would explode if it's filled with too much air right? Thankfully I still have this blog here..at least there is still somewhere for me to write down what I really feel.

Besides work, other stuff is not going well too. Friendship for example, things got complicated and the once good frens are no longer good frens. And there's more than 1 case..work place got no 1 to trust + good frens also no longer can talk to = eat myself.

Gained a lot of weight over the past 1 month, reason? My mood swings. Whenever I feel moody, I will shop for food, then I will go on a eating spree. It does help, but it has it's side effect =/ Anyway feel so much better now after blabbing out everything here. I don't know who will read this, and I don't know if my post will be related to you or not, screw it!

7 comments:

Kian Fai said...

Alot of weight? Take care alright . . . and stay strong, I know you can do it by using you super sharp eye! :) Kar Yao!

kRaZy said...

Thank you..I don't know how long more I can tahan lol..I got sharp eye? o.o

Kian Fai said...

when you mata sepet that time :P

Siew Ching said...

Dear!! you still have us!! i know we cant go out as often as we used to but something just doesnt change!! our friendship!
I thought you love your job there..anyway if you need someone to talk to just we can always msn or facebook chat or email or call!! :)

Stephanie Ee said...

Be positive. Life is not too bad after all :)

Cheer!

HenRy LeE ® said...

dont be so imba la... take care krazygal

Punk Chopsticks said...

Awwww man I know what you're talking about, To be honest, I'm kinda going through somethng like that (WILL THE WEIGHT NOT STOP COMING???) But hang in gurl, cause there's a rainbow at the end of your tunnel