2 Months Worth of Rants

Had a really bad month, I thought June was bad..but July was even worse. Had a lot of disagreements and arguments with people around me, work is not going smoothly and I have problem sleeping properly due to my imba mood.

Seriously, it sux, despite my birthday being in the month of July as well, I didn't really have a great day on my birthday. I am really tired and stressed, especially at work. There's so many things going on around, and I have really thought of giving up for n thousand of times but it's thanks to a few of my friends who kept supporting me and told me to go on that's why I'm still surviving till now.

I have never really work more than 1 month for a permanent job before (excluding the Dubai one because for that I have no choice, I couldn't just come back to Malaysia and say I don't want to work anymore right?). For my current job, it's my 4th month there but somehow it felt like I've been working for at least a year. Time pass by really fast there, and things change really fast as well.

It's really difficult to adapt to the inconsistent changes, and the stress. To tell the truth, I have never really liked doing sales. This is something that I am aware of since I'm 15 years old and yet my job are still mostly sales based because:

1. Good Pay
2. When people look at my resume, they ignore my cert and only take my work experience into account and that's....sales...

It's really freaking sad you know, the reason I took mass comm instead of business is because I know I don't like business. I want something with free working time, not so routine kinda job, and also a job which doesn't care the process but only the result. My current job started off like what I wanted, but as time goes on, everything changes.

I can't control my emotions and it's affecting literally every aspect of my life. Because of some incidents that took place last time, I no longer trust people at work so end up I'm solo'ing in the office. When something happens and I really need someone to talk to, there's none because I don't trust people from my workplace.

I chose to keep everything to myself, but how much capacity do I have? Even a balloon would explode if it's filled with too much air right? Thankfully I still have this blog here..at least there is still somewhere for me to write down what I really feel.

Besides work, other stuff is not going well too. Friendship for example, things got complicated and the once good frens are no longer good frens. And there's more than 1 case..work place got no 1 to trust + good frens also no longer can talk to = eat myself.

Gained a lot of weight over the past 1 month, reason? My mood swings. Whenever I feel moody, I will shop for food, then I will go on a eating spree. It does help, but it has it's side effect =/ Anyway feel so much better now after blabbing out everything here. I don't know who will read this, and I don't know if my post will be related to you or not, screw it!

I Need a Peace of Mind..

3:58am in the morning of 9th July 2011. Everyone is going on and on about the Bersih Rally while I'm being troubled by other stuffs until I don't really care whether the protest is on or not.

Was facing some issues which kinda held me up till just now. My emo partner Algin asked me to on Skype to chat. It did help, really..but after the conversation ended, another new trouble came. I wish I can elaborate here but too bad it's work stuff which contains too much of sensitive issues so I can't just write it down wherever I like haih...

I doubt I will be sleeping tonight..and I really wish those troubles will just disappear. I'm trying to not think about any of the stuff that's bothering me..but it seems really impossible to do so..